Sunday, September 21, 2008

humility and perspective

So, I haven't had the greatest of weeks, but it wasn't things I really wanted to blog about. I've never wanted to stay in Katy, and lately I'm kind of getting the itch to get out of here again. I miss my friends, especially the beacon of awesome. My Little Jen Jen that Could and I have been talking a lot lately about being lonely and not really having any friends where you live. As much as I miss her and Liz up in Dallas, I know Austin is where most of my friends are. Beacon of Awesome and all that. I think it was the converesation with Denver where he was mentioning a move back there that really started the yearning in my heart.

No, I'm not announcing a move.

Basically, the more I started wanting to leave, the more I felt guilty leaving about the things here that have been so awesome for me in this, the worst year of my life. Then some unpleasant things transpired this week that just made me feel pushed. They were things that reminded me why I never really minded not being here in the first place. I stopped feeling so guilty about wanting to leave, and replaced it with swirls of anger and resentment and just general angst.

God worked some things out for me, like He does.

The lesson for the kids this morning was about God's provisions for us, because we belong to Him. The memory verse is "My God will provide for your needs" Phil. 4:19. I've been praying for provision for a few weeks now, and its nice to have that scriptural reminder.

The sermon this morning came from Ephesians. Don't you love it when God helps your eye to wander to EXACTLY the scripture you needed, even when it has absolutely nothing to do with the message you're hearing? Me too.

"Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath and resentment and quarreling and slander be banished from you, with all malice." Ephesians 4:31

That, my friends, is a prayer answered. I've been praying for days now for God to change my heart and used some of those exact words. The feelings have been decreasing, but I knew it was still there. And then I saw that scripture...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, God is so cool.

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