My ever-ailing mom was having an MRI done on her hip today, so I had some free time to catch up on reading without being distracted by the TV or facebook. We're doing the 6 week video series for "Restore My Heart" but I happen to have the 5-lessons-a-week-for-6-weeks workbook courtesy of my wonderful SIL. I was reading through all the lessons for the week and journaling when God moved me to do so. I'd like to share part of my experience.
And I will betroth you to Me forever; yes I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will even betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord. Hosea 2:19-20
Denise (the author) paraphrased it: As wonderful or as terrible as our earthly marriages are, they will end. But I'm [Jesus] always going to be there for you, Baby!
The key word in that was "stability". Stability is the thing that I crave in my life more than anything else, probably even more than love. When we would talk about what we wanted in life, that was what I was looking for: stability. I want to build a home, have roots, know what each kiss meant, etc. Life is very unpredictable, and you can't plan it all, but you can totally have that foundtation and stability in your home and family.
This scripture just blows my mind. I mean, we all know Jesus loves us. We all know He was sent by the Father to die for us, to pay for our sins, and all out of love. But how often do we actually think, really THINK about what that kind of love means? Have you ever stopped to think about the stability that a love like that puts in your life?
I'm so filled with anxiety because my life is so volitile right now. I know that the one thing constant is Jesus, and trust me, that totally helps. I cannot fathom how you could live life without Him. Seriously. First of all, the sheer arrogance of it is enormous. "Oh, things just happen because of chemistry. And I can make my own choices and I know best!" YEA RIGHT! Second, if I can feel as lonely as I do while knowing that I am never alone and that the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE is holding my right hand, how deeply lonely the world must feel for those without Christ! I'm fortunate that I grew up knowing Christ, and that I truly committed my life to him when I was 14, but that means I can't really relate to people who don't know Him. I mean, maybe they can do it because they just don't know what they're missing.
At the end of the day, the point is, God ever so gently, in His loving way, reminded me that no matter how poopity my earthly life gets, marriage or otherwise, He's there, and He is that stability that I am constantly yearning for.