Sunday, July 20, 2008

it's finally time

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. I Corinthians 13:7

I should be sleeping, because in a matter of hours the most painful part begins. I'll be in Dallas Sunday through Tuesday, packing and moving out. We talked tonight, and he was softer. He's finally gotten some of the sadness, too, or at least is finally admitting it again. He knows that when he left Thursday, that might've been the last time he ever sees our baby kitties, and they didn't know he was leaving for a long time so they were just kind of indifferent. He said that was so hard. I haven't seen them in 2 months, so I told him I totally understand how he feels. I started to get the impression that he was hoping I'd feel sorry for him and change my mind about taking them, especially since it's going to be mildly traumatic for them when they get to Houston. Not gonna happen. He made these choices, and he gets the consequences now. I'm not glad he's in pain, despite all the people around me who keep telling me he deserves it and worse. It made me cry to know he was hurting. I hate ripping our little family apart, and moments like that show me that deep down, he does, too. I'm still in love with my husband, and I want to be a family again. The ball is in his court, as the saying goes.

Please pray for me, dear friends. Pray for my strength and sanity. Pray for all the blessings that the Lord gives through suffering. And pray for Denver. Pray that God would use just one thing that crosses his path each day to be an undeniable moment from Him. Pray for him to return to his moments of truth (listen to "Moment of Truth" by Matthew West... its phenominal) and bring the truth back to his life.

I won't be able to get online until laaaaaaaate Tuesday or possibly Wednesday, but feel free to call or text me.

And thank you for loving me.

1 comment:

Mama said...

praying for you today -