Introducing... Eli!

(I started this yesterday... you'll get the point)

Today is April 25th. For months we have been planning on today being Eli's birthday. On Monday the 18th, we were still planning on today being his birthday. God laughed at us. He laughed right in our silly human faces.

*This is the story of my labor and Eli's birth. It gets a little TMI, so be prepared.*

At 2pm on the 18th, we went for our 36 week check up at the high risk OB. My cervix was totally closed, and I wasn't having contractions. We left content that we were still on pace to have check ups with my regular OB on Wednesday and Friday, then be admitted on Easter to induce. Monday the 18th was a full moon. And I'm now a believer. Shortly after midnight, my hips started killing me. It felt like charley horses in my hip flexors. No contractions, so I just wrote it off as my hips spreading and resigned myself to the pain. The pain got worse throughout the day on Tuesday. I could barely walk it was hurting so much. I was determined to not have to be back in the hospital on bed rest, so I wouldn't let Sheldon call the doctor. My blood pressures were still great, and I didn't have any of the other symptoms my doctor told me I had to come in with. In the late afternoon, I started having a few random contractions. The closest they got was about 30 minute apart in the 6 o clock hour. I noticed a little bit of a pink tint to the mucus I had. Mucus in general I wasn't concerned about, because I know your mucus plug regenerates and can be shedding/regenerating for weeks and have nothing to do with labor. The pain was getting worse, so around 6:45 I laid down to take a nap. At 7:15, I got up to use the restroom and saw blood in the toilet. We decided it was time to go to the hospital. I got in the tub for a warm soak while Sheldon got our bags together. And the contractions started to come every 10-15 minutes. I was pretty sure that Thundercats were, in fact, GOOOOOOOOOOOO! at that point.

We got to the hospital at about 8:30 and headed up to L&D. At 8:45 the nurse checked me and to our complete and utter shock said, "You're gonna be a mama soon! You're at about 4 and a half!" WHAT!! *Cue excitement* "Let's get you checked in and get anesthesia up here for your epidural!" (best news EVER.) My sister in law arrived around 9:30, also excited out of her mind. The doctor (who was not my regular doctor, but the chief of obstetrics for the hospital and we had already decided we didn't absolutely need my doctor to be the one who delivered the baby) came in to rupture my sac. Well, it had already ruptured, and after he informed us of that, he also said, "Hey, your baby has hair!" It puts you at ease when you have a casual yet professional doctor. I like it. (In hindsight, knowing that my water was already broken makes us believe that the afore mentioned blood was in fact, my bloody show.) A little after 10, I was checked again (and I was already at 8!!) and got my epidural. Katy is in awe of me for all of this. I did not scream when during contractions (which hurt REALLY EFFING BAD, in case you were wondering.). I just closed my eyes and tried to breath through them, crying with the ones that were really bad. I'm shocked I didn't use a single profane word. That's just not like me. I loves me some F bombs and "holy shits" when something hurts. I don't know why I was so calm throughout it all. I think I was still sort of in shock that I was actually having a baby. So epidural. AMAZING. I could still feel my legs, I just couldn't feel any pain. I felt a little pressure when I was having contractions, and so I was in a great mood! I started to stall, so they gave me some pitocin to try and get me the last cm or so. It worked! Some time between 12:30 and 1, it was time to push! It was impossible to be scared at that point. I had Sheldon on 1 side, Katy on the other, and probably the greatest L&D nurse ever, all of them encouraging me and keeping me calm. Best labor experience ever, probably. I pushed for an hour and his head just was not moving past the pubic bone. The doctor came back in and said it was time to throw in the towel and do a C-section. The plan since the 1st trimester had been to let me try to delivery vaginally but knowing that I'd most likely have a C. I've been prepared to have a C since I was 19 and was totally cool with it. Basically, because I'm diabetic, doctors won't let me (or any diabetic mommy for that matter) push as long as a non-diabetic mommy because it stresses the baby. So Sheldon suited up and anesthesia started getting me ready for the big show.

The only thing that sucked about this part was that I was COLD. I was so cold I was shaking. It was AWFUL. The anesthesiologist was amazing and trying so hard to warm me up. Bless him! Sheldon was by my side while they did the surgery (which is surreal... you're awake, and you just feel like someone is pressing on you, but that's all you can feel.) The first thing the doctor said when he pulled Eli out (at 2:46am) was, "Look at those big cheeks!" And Sheldon and I both started to cry. I'm totally tearing up again thinking about it. Then you wait for what feels like minutes (but is really just like 30 seconds max) to hear that cry. And then there it was. I looked at Sheldon and said, "He sounds like Tilly!" Weird the things you think about when you hear your child's 1st cry... I asked how big he was (because the ultrasound on Monday had estimated him at 7 and a half pounds) and someone replied, "HUGE! He's 8 pounds 9 ounces! 21 inches long." Sheldon and I both said, "HOLY CRAP!!!" They wrapped him up and handed him to Sheldon, instructed him to show me and let me kiss him. Oh my God he was so beautiful!

Then Sheldon took Eli with the nurses to the nursery to get cleaned up and set up for success, I got stapled up, and headed to recovery. When I got there, the only things I could feel were my head and my left arm. I felt like I was in the video for "One" by Metallica. Not a cool feeling AT ALL. While I was in recovery, I got the amazing surprise of Bunny and Fox! They had driven down from Dallas when I told them I was in labor. Love them. I finally made it back to my room between some time around 6. I was DESPERATE to get my baby. I kept asking for him, but they were bathing him and making sure he was warm. I finally got him around 7 and oh my heart just stopped. This beautiful little boy came out of me?! He's mine?! Its the craziest awesome feeling ever. My doctor came by for rounds a little after 8. He was like, "You have a baby!! And he's HUGE!!" Seriously, no one saw me going into labor, and we didn't expect him to be so big. But he's amazing and we're so blessed.

Elijah Ross Green April 20, 2011 2:46am

We were in the hospital until Saturday, and there's a lot that went on during that time, but that'll have to wait for another post. I need to go snuggle my son now.

Oh the uterus.

My life is run by the uterus. Seriously. Usually its mine, but apparently, other uterus also have a huge impact on my life. Oh, and I was wrong. Apparently, I can handle another lemon. I mean, I bawled like a crazy person all day, but we got through and it's okay.

Now, you may or may not be aware that I am OBSESSED with my cats. Seriously. They have been my children for almost 6 years now. I love them like my children and yea. Well, Matilda has been acting funny for a few days, like she didn't feel good. This morning, she started leaking clear fluid and I knew something was seriously wrong. We do not have any extra money right now, so I was double upset: my heart was breaking watching my baby suffer and feeling very helpless because I couldn't really do anything about it. Thankfully, a call to the vet and a very understanding office manager ended with my mom bringing us to the vet at 2.

She was purring and demanding petting from everyone who came near her, regardless of the grumpy look on her face. Turns out she was dehydrated and had pyometra, which is a severe uterine infection. She had emergency surgery this evening, and should be just fine! We caught it super early and thank God for that! From what I've read, this condition is life-threatening. My poor baby!

In happier news, I'm 35 weeks along and Eli's huge. They estimated him at 6lbs 15oz on Monday. My ribcage could've told you that! He continues to get all A's on his tests at the OB's office. He's a big, healthy nugget! He was moving around like crazy while I was hooked up to the fetal monitors, and my doctor goes, "Wow! what a happy baby!" We see the high risk OB on Monday and then my regular OB on Wednesday. They both agree that they want him induced before he hits 9 pounds, so we're on pace to be admitted on Easter Sunday and he'll be born the following morning.

Here's some of our amazing family pictures we had done on the 2nd. Love them and can't wait for the 5th face to be in the next set!!

Year 2.

Saturday was kind of a big deal for Team Green. We had the kids with us for the first time since new year's, Saturday morning was my last shift ever at my job, and it was also our 1st wedding anniversary. Let's break this down.

Loved having the kids. Friday night they had Daddy Date Night because I was at bunco. (I love my bunco group soooo much. Its something I look forward to every month. These women are so much fun and have really been rays of sunshine in the dark times of the past year.) Whenever Daddy's in charge, the kids are always up soooo late. This is more of an issue for Owen than Cherie, but we kinda saw it coming. Saturday am, we were up at 6:45. Owen got a hair cut and Cherie got braids. They were fed, sunscreened, and lookin' snappy in their uniforms (Cherie plays softball and Owen plays t-ball) and off they went with Daddy for their games. O missed pictures because Mama can only move so fast lately, and Daddy decided to shower and shave instead of help get them dressed. Live and learn. They picked me up from work, we had some lunch, and then had some down time. O took a 3+ hour nap.

Cherie had a luxurious bath. I'm serious. She asked for a mud mask (I created a monster with that one!) and was in there for a good hour. (Don't worry. I made her change the water after she washed the mask off.) Sheldon and I were cracking up in the living room listening to her singing and chatting to herself in there. When she got out of the bath, Daddy decided to take a nap so the girls ran some errands. We went to Target for an anniversary gift and to my parents' house to pick up the top of our wedding cake. When we got home, we woke the guys up, everyone got changed, and we headed to Old Katy to have family pictures taken! I can't wait to see them. I really think they're going to be so beautiful. We continued our whirlwind of a day with dinner at Chuy's. Oh Boom Boom Sauce... how we love thee! Owen started to melt down when we got home because Little Guy was so tired! Sunday morning was church as usual, then we had lunch and some playtime at my brother's house. We wrapped up the weekend with the totally un-fun task of having the kids try on their clothes to purge the stuff they've outgrown. I really wanted it done before Eli's here in the event they needed a lot of new things. I wanted that done before I'm on house arrest or just too tired to go shopping. I was pleasantly surprised that most things still fit. Tax free weekend, however, we'll be doing some replacing.

The downer of the weekend: Owen's behavior. I understand that he's almost 6 and am fully aware that when his behavior was at its worst he was usually pretty tired. That does not make it acceptable for him to keep doing the same things over and over again. We had some problems with him lying, but he's improving there. The biggest problem was him following instructions and being disrespectful. It is NEVER acceptable for a child to yell back at an adult. Our waiter accidentally tried to give him Cherie's drink at dinner Saturday and Owen immediately YELLED at him that he was wrong. I was so embarrassed. When he was trying on his clothes, Sheldon said something to him and he yelled his disagreement in Sheldon's face. NOT ACCEPTABLE. He also just had a really hard time following instructions. It wasn't a great decision on Sheldon's part to decide that he wants to have Owen trying on clothes in the living room so that he can watch a movie while Owen's changing. That's a Daddy Fail. But the distraction was just too great for a 5 year old to handle, and he could not stay focused on what he was doing to save his life, no matter how many times he was told. He also just doesn't pay attention to what he's doing. I've put my shirts on backwards and/or inside out before. It happens. But after the 2nd time he put something on backwards and/or inside out and I told him to pay attention and check for the tags or a picture when getting dressed, that should've sufficed for the day. By the (I'm not exaggerating) 8th time he did it, my patience was gone and time out happened so he could focus on something. He dresses himself every day and has been dressing himself for as long as I've been around. This is not usually a problem. It frustrated the crap out of me that I told him 4 or 5 times to pay attention to what he's doing and then the next thing he'd put on, he'd do backwards because he just wasn't paying attention to what he was doing (yes, we were still in the living room. No the tv wasn't on.) He had some other incidents with being told to do or not do something more than once and then doing it anyway. He's not misbehaving to the extent he was before, but when its the same thing over and over... I'm trying so hard to expect less from them, because they're kids and its okay. But there are still things that will just get me every time. Lying, for instance. CAN'T STAND IT. Cherie got busted in a lie (she told me Saturday morning, "Daddy said I could...". I told him about it that night, after they were in bed - obviously it was such a big deal! - and he said he never said it. So Sunday morning, he mentioned it to her. She goes, "Oh, no, what I said was..." and I cut her off because no way was I letting her start another lie and basically call me a liar. We weren't even mad! Sheldon was like, "Baby, you need to remember that Mama and I tell each other everything. You can't tell one of us that the other said something when we didn't. We always find out. Now eat your cereal." It wasn't a big deal at all, but she was so upset about being busted she started to cry. She got in trouble 3 times while she was here and cried every time. I asked her if she cries every time she gets in trouble, and she said no, just at our house. I don't have a clue why.) Anyway, I'm trying to be more flexible with them, to be more patient (which is a big deal for me, because I am tired and cranky these days and very few people get patience from me!), to encourage them, and give more hugs and snuggles. We're getting there. Even with the discipline issues, they were happy to be here. It broke my heart when I was snuggling with Owen on the couch before we left to take them back to her house and he just kept telling me he didn't want to leave. I can't wait until we have primary custody...

I'm done working. DONE. I haven't officially turned in my notice. I'm currently technically on maternity leave. Its so sad that I couldn't just quit before I left because I knew there would be some bad treatment. I fully believe that working there made my pregnancy harder. I think the needless excessive stress they placed on my position exacerbated all the negative symptoms I've been dealing with. They weren't super understanding about things when I was in the hospital (all 3 times while I was working), and I'm having a bit of trouble with the transition. My doctor mentioned last week that he thinks there's a good chance Eli's going to come early on his own (and by early, I mean before his induction date of April 25th). We were talking about it today and Sheldon said (and I think he's totally right) that if I was still working there, I'd be in labor by the beginning of next week (which puts me at 35 weeks and that's really not great.) I've been working there for a year and a half, and I've invested a lot into the job, making it more efficient and developing my own procedures. Because of that, I'm having a hard time transitioning and not feeling responsible for it. I keep feeling like I'm supposed to be there! I really hope I get over that soon...

And then the big one: our anniversary. I can't believe we've only been married for a year. We haven't even been together for 2 years, and yet I feel like he's always been there. Sheldon was awesome. He was bouncing around like an excited little kid Friday night because he wanted to give me presents so bad. At midnight I got a dozen roses and a card that was so perfect and obviously made me cry. At around 2am, he took amazing care of me while I puked up everything I'd eaten Friday night (yea, not going to miss that in a few weeks when I'm not pregnant anymore) and then ended up with low blood sugar. When we got the kids up, he sent them in with balloons and candy for me. He's so sweet. Seriously. Being with him is the best thing. We've been through so much this year, lows like the early summer miscarriage and the custody battle to highs like getting ready for Eli. Everything feels better with him. Hard times don't hurt as much and good times feel even better. He can make me so mad and so happy. And no matter what, I always feel so loved and cherished. Every day, we love each other more, flaws and all, and I feel so secure. I'm looking forward to growing old with him.

Eli continues to thrive. I continue to be in pain and have less and less energy. I've started to have random contractions. My father in law told me last night, "That bread's just about baked!" I'm 34 weeks now, so 2 or 3 more weeks, tops. We were blessed beyond belief at our showers so we have just about everything we need. This weekend, Sheldon's off so we'll do the last of the organizing and setting up of stuff. We'll take the gift cards we got and go get the last things we need (nipples, burp rags, a breast pump, and a crib mattress. Not much!) Then it's just waiting for him to be cooked enough! I can't wait. I'm already so in love, and I think I'm going to explode when I finally get to hold and kiss him.

If I see one more lemon...

I'm not sure what's been worse about this pregnancy, the feeling sick all the time or the lemons that life has been incessantly pelting us with. I get that there's always going to be trials in life, but its just overwhelming when you aren't quite done with one battle and another one starts. Its basically a never ending list of bad days that have really tainted my pregnancy with a ton of terrible memories. I turn 30 this fall, and honestly? I'm pretty ready to say "good riddance!" to my 20's.

The custody battle with the kids hasn't ended quietly (she tried to disregard the orders again the 1st night we got a visit and our amazing lawyer had to put the fear of God into her.). I would be SHOCKED if she didn't keep pulling her crazy antics, since she's been pulling them with increasing malice and crazy as long as Sheldon and I have been together, but at least we've seen their beautiful faces again, and that was so great for our souls.



The most recent lemons we've been pelted with have been materialistic and financial. We currently don't have any cars. We've been getting by with just one for over a month since Sheldon's died, but then mine died, too, when we were 15 minutes away from the kids' school. We were going to surprise them with lunch and see them for the 1st time in 2 months. Needless to say, that sucked. My parents have been extremely graciously letting Sheldon drive my mom's Explorer and giving me rides to work. Then yesterday, my mom's Explorer crapped out, too. Tonight, he took his mom's car to work and hopefully, my mom's car will be fixed tomorrow and my dad can get back to work fixing Sheldon's. On top of that, we're waiting on tax money (which will be decreased thanks to my stupid student loans) to purchase a mini van. With about 5 weeks left, we're getting down to the wire and I'm getting pretty nervous about the situation. But God has never let us down before, so we have no reason NOT to trust His provision at this point.

Speaking of 5 weeks to go... I have a big baby growin' in my ever expanding belly! At30 weeks exactly, he was estimated at 3lbs 9oz in his ultrasound. They didn't estimate it on Wednesday (31w2d) at our weekly scan because they only do it every other week. But my doctor is pleased as punch with the way everything's going. I've gained 4 pounds total now (which I'm amazed at, especially considering how huge I'm feeling), my blood pressure is on the high side of normal, but he wasn't concerned (which I was also pretty amazed about), and everyone keeps gushing about how perfect Eli is. I mean everyone. The ultrasound tech, the nurse, my OB, etc. Its the best feeling ever. Thursday (31w3d), I went to see the high risk OB. I was a little bit nervous about it (and Sheldon went in with his feathers already ruffled) because we'd heard horror stories about how mean they get, how they were going to lecture me about my blood sugars (which aren't glorious these days...), tell me I wasn't doing things right, etc. It was a pleasant surprise. Yes, he told me my a1c and blood sugars are too high, but he just said it once and moved on, content that I'm seeing my endocrinologist and that we're working on it. He did an extensive ultrasound and did estimate the weight. We were expecting somewhere around 4 and a half pounds. Imagine our surprise when he said, "5lbs 2oz." BIG BOY!!! Thankfully, that's not excessively large, just puts him in the 80th percentile. He also used the word perfect to describe Eli, which keeps this mommy calm. He wants to check me again at 36 weeks (especially since my OB is planning on a 37 week induction) so he can consult on the healthiest delivery options for the baby. He said that if it looks like Eli's going to be 9lbs or more, he's advising for a c-section. He told us that babies over 9lbs run a higher risk of shoulder dislocation, so C's are easiest on big babies. Honestly? I don't care either way. I never have. When I was 19 and first diagnosed with diabetes, I started having doctors tell me I'd be delivering via C-section if I was able to have children (so really, be pregnant much less having a perfect baby is apparently miraculous). My mom had C's with my brother and me, and that also put me at a higher likelihood for having one. I don't have, and never have had, a romantic vision of vaginal delivery. I've never wanted a natural, pain-med-free delivery, so that didn't give me some evil idea about c-sections being the easy way out, against the way God intended babies to be born. I thank God for medical developments! I want to give birth the way that's going to put the least amount of stress on me and my baby. So my birth plan is to go in, have the OB's tell me which way they think is best and why (my doctor is AMAZING at giving us his reasons for stuff, which we have very much appreciated) and go from there. No stubborn clinging to a romanticized vision that I've turned into my birth plan. Nope. I'm gonna cry and bleed and end up with a beautiful baby with massive cheeks in my arms either way.

My last day at work will be April 1st, and I will spend the 3 weeks between then and Eli's arrival nesting like a fiend. Lately, every time I've woken up with the nesting urge, I have to work and come home just drained. I'm there for 3 hours and feel wasted afterwards. Its a combination of not having a tremendous amount of energy as it is and the raging stupidity and ridiculousness I deal with there just draining me. I can't WAIT.

sweet relief

Ahhhh... it feels really good.

My blood pressure has been on the rise a bit here lately. Not high enough to be pre-eclampsia, but high enough to raise eyebrows and make me afraid of bed rest. We've very obviously attributed these spikes to the stress we've been plagued with. But as of today, life is calming down and becoming so much more beautiful. Today, our custody battle ended. And it ended very much in our favor. The best part is that we get the kids back. We get to get things back to normal just in time to make them all crazy. But I'm over the moon elated and can't wait to hug and kiss their sweet faces.

I'm also about to eliminate the other needless stress in my life: quitting my job. I'm going to spend the last month of my pregnancy spending all my energy (and there's really not that much of it...) nesting and getting ready for my little bundle of cheeks. Oh, based on his ultrasounds yesterday, he has HUGE cheeks. I love it. I have chipmunk cheeks, my niece had 'em, he's one of us.

I'm really eager to settle into my new life, where my job is to care for my baby, care for the big kids when we're fortunate enough to be a family of 5, cook dinner, and wash clothes. I'm even getting a minivan to fully secure this role. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stay in this role, but I'm blessed to get it as long as I will.

God is good.

T-minus 8 weeks

I have officially hit 29 weeks. That means I have been aware that I'm pregnant (and, yunno, throwing up) for 26 weeks. When you say it in weeks, it doesn't seem that long. When you say "for 6 months", it sounds longer. When you live it, it feels like infinity.

I'm excited. I'm starting to get nervous about a few things, mostly nursing and the changes it will bring to our time with the big kids (who we are still desperately missing, but hopeful that after court next week, will be getting back to some semblance of normalcy with.) Emotionally, I'm so ready. I don't really sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at a time now, so the sleep deprivation isn't that scary. One of the perks of being a [step]mommy and not just a new-mommy-in-waiting is that I have been able to reflect on my experiences with them, which helps me prepare for the challenges ahead. I am sad when I think about all the things I wish I'd done differently so far, and grateful that God gives us opportunities every day to be better, to love better. The way that those 2 kids have changed my heart has shown me so fully that God called me to motherhood, and I'm humbled. Whenever I get frustrated with them, He inevitably reminds me (not instantly, but eventually... when I'm ready to hear) what a huge privilege He's given me, trusting me with these people that ultimately belong to Him. That should be terrifying, but somehow it's not. It gives me perspective to see how I need to shape and change my own walk, how I can live my life more completely for Him, by His standards and teachings, to better model it for them. We are so deliberate about modelling marriage for them, showing them how a couple is meant to love. They see us argue, and they always see us make up. We strive to show them our imperfections and are intentional about telling them that parents aren't perfect, that we make mistakes, but that we try our best and that the only perfect person is Jesus. This is true for every type of relationship they will have in life. Relationships are not the only thing we are commanded to model for our children, so I have lots of opportunities for growth! As much as I'm excited to cuddle and kiss Eli, I'm also excited to teach him to pray, to apologize when he's wrong, and to have a heart that longs for Jesus. The day Cherie was baptized, I was crying. To watch this little person that I love so much declare her love for our Lord and her desire to live for His glory was huge! I can't wait for the day I see my sons do the same, and I know I will be just as teary and joyful.

That really wasn't where I was planning on going with this entry. I was planning on gushing about how we're pre-registered at the hospital, that Eli's healthy and great, and how the plan right now is to be admitted on Easter Sunday to get things started and give birth on Monday, April 25th. I want to nest, and thankfully my heartburn has been obliging and letting me do tons of laundry and organize things to start situating Eli's stuff. But I got distracted with by the most important and rewarding aspect of motherhood. I mean, the simplest moments of joy are when they smile at you, when they hug and/or kiss you, hearing them laugh, etc. But the eternal joy is being a part of showing your children the most important thing in life: God. That's the mission field God has called me to, and I am a very willing worker.

So, yea. We'll celebrate the resurrection of our King, and then we'll celebrate the birth of our precious gift from Him. Sounds like a pretty great way to end the month of April, doesn't it?

3rd trimester - bazinga!

Things are still not great with the situation with the big kids. We still haven't seen or spoken to them since the 1st week of January. When we got custody back, his ex-wife hid them from us. She went so far as to claim they had an appointment and pull them out of school to keep us from having lunch with them. God will prevail, but in the mean time, continued prayers are appreciated.

Now for the extreme joy in our lives... our new little miracle. Last week, I started having bio-physical fetal surveillance. This is conducted primarily through ultrasound. There's 8 things they're checking, including to estimate his weight (2lbs. 4oz.!!), check his heart rate (148 bpm), his movements, my fluid level, etc. He scored a perfect 8/8 last week. Unfortunately, my blood sugars have been a little wonky and my blood pressure was slightly elevated, so he scheduled me to come back this week for another round. My blood pressure was perfect today (which I told him it would be. Last week, the nurse was talking to me and arguing about my due date while she was taking it. Obviously that's going to make it rise.), I actually have gained weight (3 whole pounds... whoa.), and Baby Boy scored another perfect 8/8 on his BPFP. His weight is now up to 2 lbs 10 oz, his heart rate was 143, and he officially loves the ultrasounds as much as we do now. Up until 20 weeks, he was not the most cooperative baby. But now... oh what a change! The tech was doing his scan today and she got really excited because the images were so clear. She asked us if we were planning to have the 3D/4D scan done. We told her we weren't(mostly because I think they tend to look really creepy, and plus they're expensive.), and she goes, "Oh I just can't resist!" and flipped to the 4D view. OMG. He's beautiful. He was making squishy faces, but it's still very obvious that he looks like his daddy.





That's his elbow next to his cheek, by the way. He was lounging with his arm like that last week, too. I don't blame him... I lay like that, too. In 9 weeks, I will be able to kiss that squishy face. I'm PUMPED. In the mean time, I'm seeing the ob weekly. We changed everything on my insulin pump at my endocrinologist's office today. "You're in the 3rd trimester. Insulin use doubles or triples during this. We just have to be aggressive."

I feel like I've been pregnant forever. I wonder if it'll be weird when it's finally over, when I can lift things again, when my belly doesn't shake because the occupant is moving, when I'm not having a preggo party anymore. Is that part of why some women get post partum depression so severely? Is it like women who get really depressed after their wedding because they'd been so obsessed and engrossed with the planning and in defining themselves as "brides-to-be". I hope not. I'll find out in 2months. It's gonna flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy by, I just know it.