California was AMAZING. I had the best time with Hayley and those are memories for a lifetime. The trip was very good for my sanity.
There's been other new additions to my life that are good for my sanity, but I'm not quite ready to blog about that just yet. All I'm saying is that God is good.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Transition.
I had fun in Dallas last weekend. I'm excited about California this weekend thru the 21st. In the mean time, I am not excited or, well, happy. Here are some scriptures to sum up my heart.
How long will you forget me, O Lord? Forever? How long will you hide Your face from me? How long must I lay up my cares within me and have sorrow in my heart day after day? How long shall my enemy exalt himself over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; lighten the eyes [of my faith to behold Your face in the pitch like darkness], lest I sleep the sleep of death, Lest my enemy say, I have prevailed over him, and those that trouble me rejoice when I am shaken. But I have trusted, leaned on, and been confident in Your mercy and loving-kindness; my heart shall rejoice and be in high spirits in Your salvation. Psalm 13:1-5
Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me! Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for my help! Draw out also the spear and javelin and close up the way of those who pursue and persecute me. Say to me, I am your deliverance! Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek and require my life; let them be turned back and confounded who plan my hurt! Let them be as chaff before the wind, with the Angel of the Lord driving them on! Let their way be through dark and slippery places, with the Angel of the Lord pursuing and afflicting them. For without cause they they hid for me their net; a pit of destruction without cause the dug for my life. Let destruction befall my foe unawares; let the net he hid for me catch him; let him fall into that very destruction. Then I shall be joyful in the Lord; I shall rejoice in His deliverance. Psalm 35:1-9
For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centered, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. They will be abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane. [They will be] without natural [human] affection; [they will be] slanderers, intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good. [They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God. Although they hold a form of piety, they dent and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. II Timothy 3:2-5a
How long will you forget me, O Lord? Forever? How long will you hide Your face from me? How long must I lay up my cares within me and have sorrow in my heart day after day? How long shall my enemy exalt himself over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; lighten the eyes [of my faith to behold Your face in the pitch like darkness], lest I sleep the sleep of death, Lest my enemy say, I have prevailed over him, and those that trouble me rejoice when I am shaken. But I have trusted, leaned on, and been confident in Your mercy and loving-kindness; my heart shall rejoice and be in high spirits in Your salvation. Psalm 13:1-5
Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me! Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for my help! Draw out also the spear and javelin and close up the way of those who pursue and persecute me. Say to me, I am your deliverance! Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek and require my life; let them be turned back and confounded who plan my hurt! Let them be as chaff before the wind, with the Angel of the Lord driving them on! Let their way be through dark and slippery places, with the Angel of the Lord pursuing and afflicting them. For without cause they they hid for me their net; a pit of destruction without cause the dug for my life. Let destruction befall my foe unawares; let the net he hid for me catch him; let him fall into that very destruction. Then I shall be joyful in the Lord; I shall rejoice in His deliverance. Psalm 35:1-9
For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centered, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. They will be abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane. [They will be] without natural [human] affection; [they will be] slanderers, intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good. [They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God. Although they hold a form of piety, they dent and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. II Timothy 3:2-5a
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy
I heard that song 3 times on my drive to New Braunfels Friday night. It 100% sums up the way I feel about my life these days. I mean, crazy isn't always a bad thing, so it's always applicable, especially on the verge of a summer weekend in the hill country. I think the best word to describe the HC is "simple". Everything is just a little slower, a little more relaxed, and a lot more fun. It's about a cotton dress and sandals as opposed to an outfit and tons of makeup. The #1 cosmetic you need is sunscreen. That and lotion are the only ones I packed, actually. You drink beer, you laugh, and you just enjoy life. It's so easy being there.
I'll be accentuating this post with scoreboards, just be prepared for that. They're a necessity (apparently, so is wearing a rubber at all times. HA! You girls are crazy for the Andy.)
My original plan was to leave early Friday morning and have Hula Hut lunch with Libby in Austin. That didn't happen because, well, I was up until after 5am Friday morning doing stuff around the house. So then I slept most of the day Friday, got up in the late afternoon and puttered about doing the rest of the things that needed to happen before I hit the hill country. I finally left just before 10pm. BALLER, I know.
I took advantage of the drive to pray. I just wanted to get the full effect of the simple easy atmosphere of the HC and recharge. I wanted to really feel Him filling each of us up with a happiness that can really only come from Him. He was faithful and came through, big time.
On the drive, I discovered that someone else was just as crazy as me and started a radio station that fulfills my dream. I discovered 106.7 Santa FM. Apparently, it's a station in transition out of San Antonio, but who cares? I got to listen to a crapton of Christmas music with a bag full of shorts and swimsuits in my backseat. That's a win. Whitney wouldn't let me listen to it on Saturday on our way to the river. She apparently does not appreciate the awesomeness of listening to Sleigh Ride when it's 95 degrees outside. I just wanted to feel like I lived in the southern hemisphere!
About an hour and a half into the drive, I realized that I had forgotten my insulin and subsequently wouldn't have enough for the weekend. Eh, whatever. I knew I could just hit a pharmacy in the morning and get another vial. Easy. When I got to NB, my life was SAVED by Ben C. (who was graciously letting us all crash at his house for the weekend). He is a diabetic supplies salesman, so he just happened to have some insulin in his fridge. AMAZING.
Friday night was all about beer pong and just a relaxed party vibe. Unless you're the birthday girl, Whitney. Scoreboard: driveway - 1, Whitney - 0. She is about as accident prone as she is beautiful. She had been at Ben's for less than 5 minutes when she tripped on the driveway and sprained her ankle pretty good. That stuff only happens to her, I swear.
Saturday we got to the river a good 2 hours after we had planned (no surprise there) and discovered just how bad New Braunfels needs rain. To float the full trip on the Guadalupe river would take almost 8 hours. WHOA. We had picked the Guadalupe instead of the Comal because we wanted to float longer (the Comal float typically takes about 2-3 hours) It gives you more time to drink beer and relax. Kids, there was a lot of not relaxing about this trip. They dropped us off past the main bend and told us it would take us about 4 hours to float. What they didn't tell us was that the river was REAAAAAAAAAALLY low. There were a lot of places where it was only 3 or 4 inches deep. What that means is we got stuck on a lot of rocks. And that I got my butt kicked. Scoreboard: Guadalupe River - 12, Suz - 0. I am so sore and have random scrapes and wounds on my appendages. I got minimally sunburned, mostly in a strange spotted pattern on my legs. Partial sunscreen fail. But it was the least burned I have ever gotten on the river, so I'll make that a tie between me and the sun.
The majority of the party people went to see Cross Canadian Ragweed Saturday night but I said my goodbyes and headed up to Burnet for a little bit of Ross time to finish up my weekend. That was pretty uneventful and just generally relaxing. I like spending time with Ross and his family. They're just such good people, you can't be in a bad mood around them. I got home yesterday afternoon around 4:30, was passed out cold by 10:30 and slept all day today. I'm calling it recovery.
I believe that this weekend was so important for me. I needed to just go and kick back with some friends, laugh a lot, remember why I don't like Miller Lite (it does NOT taste better. Bleh! Bud Light por vida), and generally enjoy life. God was quietly preparing my heart because my divorce papers finally arrived today, 5 weeks after he filed. You know what? I was totally fine. I'm walking with God, and trusting Him to make things work the way He wants, which will always be better than what I want.
So there you have it. God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.
I'll be accentuating this post with scoreboards, just be prepared for that. They're a necessity (apparently, so is wearing a rubber at all times. HA! You girls are crazy for the Andy.)
My original plan was to leave early Friday morning and have Hula Hut lunch with Libby in Austin. That didn't happen because, well, I was up until after 5am Friday morning doing stuff around the house. So then I slept most of the day Friday, got up in the late afternoon and puttered about doing the rest of the things that needed to happen before I hit the hill country. I finally left just before 10pm. BALLER, I know.
I took advantage of the drive to pray. I just wanted to get the full effect of the simple easy atmosphere of the HC and recharge. I wanted to really feel Him filling each of us up with a happiness that can really only come from Him. He was faithful and came through, big time.
On the drive, I discovered that someone else was just as crazy as me and started a radio station that fulfills my dream. I discovered 106.7 Santa FM. Apparently, it's a station in transition out of San Antonio, but who cares? I got to listen to a crapton of Christmas music with a bag full of shorts and swimsuits in my backseat. That's a win. Whitney wouldn't let me listen to it on Saturday on our way to the river. She apparently does not appreciate the awesomeness of listening to Sleigh Ride when it's 95 degrees outside. I just wanted to feel like I lived in the southern hemisphere!
About an hour and a half into the drive, I realized that I had forgotten my insulin and subsequently wouldn't have enough for the weekend. Eh, whatever. I knew I could just hit a pharmacy in the morning and get another vial. Easy. When I got to NB, my life was SAVED by Ben C. (who was graciously letting us all crash at his house for the weekend). He is a diabetic supplies salesman, so he just happened to have some insulin in his fridge. AMAZING.
Friday night was all about beer pong and just a relaxed party vibe. Unless you're the birthday girl, Whitney. Scoreboard: driveway - 1, Whitney - 0. She is about as accident prone as she is beautiful. She had been at Ben's for less than 5 minutes when she tripped on the driveway and sprained her ankle pretty good. That stuff only happens to her, I swear.
Saturday we got to the river a good 2 hours after we had planned (no surprise there) and discovered just how bad New Braunfels needs rain. To float the full trip on the Guadalupe river would take almost 8 hours. WHOA. We had picked the Guadalupe instead of the Comal because we wanted to float longer (the Comal float typically takes about 2-3 hours) It gives you more time to drink beer and relax. Kids, there was a lot of not relaxing about this trip. They dropped us off past the main bend and told us it would take us about 4 hours to float. What they didn't tell us was that the river was REAAAAAAAAAALLY low. There were a lot of places where it was only 3 or 4 inches deep. What that means is we got stuck on a lot of rocks. And that I got my butt kicked. Scoreboard: Guadalupe River - 12, Suz - 0. I am so sore and have random scrapes and wounds on my appendages. I got minimally sunburned, mostly in a strange spotted pattern on my legs. Partial sunscreen fail. But it was the least burned I have ever gotten on the river, so I'll make that a tie between me and the sun.
The majority of the party people went to see Cross Canadian Ragweed Saturday night but I said my goodbyes and headed up to Burnet for a little bit of Ross time to finish up my weekend. That was pretty uneventful and just generally relaxing. I like spending time with Ross and his family. They're just such good people, you can't be in a bad mood around them. I got home yesterday afternoon around 4:30, was passed out cold by 10:30 and slept all day today. I'm calling it recovery.
I believe that this weekend was so important for me. I needed to just go and kick back with some friends, laugh a lot, remember why I don't like Miller Lite (it does NOT taste better. Bleh! Bud Light por vida), and generally enjoy life. God was quietly preparing my heart because my divorce papers finally arrived today, 5 weeks after he filed. You know what? I was totally fine. I'm walking with God, and trusting Him to make things work the way He wants, which will always be better than what I want.
So there you have it. God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.
Friday, May 22, 2009
happy hour is 2-4.
Last week, the unthinkable happened at the house. I was out of diet coke for 3 DAYS. I know. Instead of being a grown up and going to the store, I just started hitting Sonic for a Route 44 Diet Coke easy ice on my way to and from various places, hence the title. Half price drinks at Sonic from 2-4! GENIUS. My favorite part was when Mom and I hit CVS to get some of her prescriptions and figured we'd just pick up some diet coke there. Um, there wasn't a single diet coke in the entire store. No 12-packs. No 2-Liters. No 16oz bottles in the cold box. It was BIZARRE. So I went to Sonic. I mean, it was raining, and I'm a delicate flower.
In other news, well, there's not much other news. Tonight I'm going to a hockey game with my cousin Hayley. I have pretty much no holiday plans. Next weekend I'm getting my Hill Country on with a Saturday float of the Guadalupe River in New Braunfels/Gruene for Whitifer's birthday and then finishing the weekend out in Burnet with Ross for his birthday. That means I have to miss my sweet niece Natalie's dance recital, but I think she'll survive, contrary to my mean brother's words yesterday. The first weekend in June, I'm headed up to the Big D. Bunny and Silver Fox are closing on their new house on the 5th, and Jen's baby shower is on the 6th. There will be some good times with Liz and the Saucer, too, because that's the kind of girls we are.
Because I feel like I need to include it...
It's been about a month and I still haven't seen divorce papers. I don't know how I feel anymore. I have these moments where the memories and subsequent feelings roll like a slide show across my heart and it hurts so bad that I can't stop crying. Sometimes I just don't really feel anything. And still other times, I'm just mad and over the whole thing. I know for certain that I am better than I thought I would be, blessed by my friends, and strengthened by my Lord.
In other news, well, there's not much other news. Tonight I'm going to a hockey game with my cousin Hayley. I have pretty much no holiday plans. Next weekend I'm getting my Hill Country on with a Saturday float of the Guadalupe River in New Braunfels/Gruene for Whitifer's birthday and then finishing the weekend out in Burnet with Ross for his birthday. That means I have to miss my sweet niece Natalie's dance recital, but I think she'll survive, contrary to my mean brother's words yesterday. The first weekend in June, I'm headed up to the Big D. Bunny and Silver Fox are closing on their new house on the 5th, and Jen's baby shower is on the 6th. There will be some good times with Liz and the Saucer, too, because that's the kind of girls we are.
Because I feel like I need to include it...
It's been about a month and I still haven't seen divorce papers. I don't know how I feel anymore. I have these moments where the memories and subsequent feelings roll like a slide show across my heart and it hurts so bad that I can't stop crying. Sometimes I just don't really feel anything. And still other times, I'm just mad and over the whole thing. I know for certain that I am better than I thought I would be, blessed by my friends, and strengthened by my Lord.
Friday, May 15, 2009
you can mail that?!
Today, I went to go collect my mom from the hospital. Again. When we got home, I had to wait to pull into the driveway because the mail lady was getting something out of the back of the van, and it would have been rude to just run her down. She pulled a large red object out, and I came thisclose to peeing my pants. My friend Christina is AMAZING. Seriously. I honestly don't know how I lived before I had her in my life. She made me the most perfect gift!
Obviously, she put a lot of effort into it. It's super meaningful yet very simple and extremely effective. The ball really is a ball of joy. It's COVERED in scriptures! I want everyone else to be blessed, so here they are:
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" Psalm 147:3
"You turned my wailing into dancing, You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God I will give thanks forever." Psalm 30:11-12
"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:21
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
"Splendor and majesty are before Him; strength and joy in His dwelling place." I Chronicles 16:27
"Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
"Let all who take refuge in You be glad, let them ever sing for joy. Spread Your protection over them, that those who love Your Name may rejoice in You." Psalm 5:11
"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is a fullness of joy..." Psalm 16:11
"He restores my soul; He leads me to the paths of righteousness for His name's sake." Psalm 23:3
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. At His tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy..." Psalm 27:6
Seriously, Christina. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. The timing was perfect, you are such a wonderful friend, and I am so blessed by you! Love you!
Obviously, she put a lot of effort into it. It's super meaningful yet very simple and extremely effective. The ball really is a ball of joy. It's COVERED in scriptures! I want everyone else to be blessed, so here they are:
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" Psalm 147:3
"You turned my wailing into dancing, You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God I will give thanks forever." Psalm 30:11-12
"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:21
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
"Splendor and majesty are before Him; strength and joy in His dwelling place." I Chronicles 16:27
"Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
"Let all who take refuge in You be glad, let them ever sing for joy. Spread Your protection over them, that those who love Your Name may rejoice in You." Psalm 5:11
"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is a fullness of joy..." Psalm 16:11
"He restores my soul; He leads me to the paths of righteousness for His name's sake." Psalm 23:3
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. At His tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy..." Psalm 27:6
Seriously, Christina. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. The timing was perfect, you are such a wonderful friend, and I am so blessed by you! Love you!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
tidings of comfort and joy
Giggle away, kids. We all know I love Christmas music. Moving right along.
I've been working a few days here and there as a nanny. I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I REALLY like kids. I spent 2 days last week with these 2 precious cuties:
I learned what it's like to have twins! A (the brunette cutie) is 18 months old and K (the blond sweetie) is 21 months old. It's twice the adorable and twice the crazy. Either it was just fun or God is foreshadowing things to come... let's pray over that, shall we?
In addition to finding so much happiness (joy, you could say) in spending time with little ones, I've also been getting SO MUCH out of the current sermon series. We're spending the majority of 2009 doing an intensive study on Genesis. Friends, the lives of people 4000 years ago have so much in common with ours! Oh sure, we have indoor plumbing and diet coke, but the emotions and dreams are the same. While walking through my current valley, I have been uplifted, encouraged, and generally comforted in ways I never could have imagined by the lives of Abraham and Sarah.
Abraham is the father of the big 3 religions: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. He was not perfect. He did not always follow God's instructions. But he always loved the Lord. It is so comforting to see that he was blessed and rewarded exponentially by a good and faithful God. It is a reminder to all of us that God will never expect us to be perfect, and that He will still bless us and never leave us.
A few weeks ago, the topic was the birth of Isaac. Now, this event has been touched upon in several other sermons, because it was a HUGE part of God's promise to Abraham and Sarah. When my marriage fell apart, one of the things I had to mourn was the very real possibility that I will never have children of my own. My doctors have been telling me since I was 19 that I'm so high risk and when I turn 30, that risk triples so its best to have them in my 20's. Well, I'm halfway to 28 and going through a divorce. That does not bode well for having babies. I completely understand the pain Sarah must have felt. Literally, a DECADE went by with no child. She became desperate, made some bad choices, and paid the price. But then God was FAITHFUL and blessed her with a baby, when she was in her 90's. Sarah lived to be 127 years old, by the way. The point is, she was well past the age when she could have children. Menopause had come and gone. But God can do anything. And so I believe it's the same for me. I no longer feel that I'm lacking in some way, that I'm "less of a woman" the way I've felt for the past 2 years when we had tried to get pregnant and didn't, then when I miscarried. Those situations were my Hagar. I'll get my Isaac eventually.
I've been extremely blessed by a handful of the friends in my life these past 3 weeks. Y'all have lifted me up and meant more to me than you realize. I have not collapsed, and I am, in fact, ready for what's next. Let's go to Canaan, okay?
I've been working a few days here and there as a nanny. I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I REALLY like kids. I spent 2 days last week with these 2 precious cuties:
I learned what it's like to have twins! A (the brunette cutie) is 18 months old and K (the blond sweetie) is 21 months old. It's twice the adorable and twice the crazy. Either it was just fun or God is foreshadowing things to come... let's pray over that, shall we?
In addition to finding so much happiness (joy, you could say) in spending time with little ones, I've also been getting SO MUCH out of the current sermon series. We're spending the majority of 2009 doing an intensive study on Genesis. Friends, the lives of people 4000 years ago have so much in common with ours! Oh sure, we have indoor plumbing and diet coke, but the emotions and dreams are the same. While walking through my current valley, I have been uplifted, encouraged, and generally comforted in ways I never could have imagined by the lives of Abraham and Sarah.
Abraham is the father of the big 3 religions: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. He was not perfect. He did not always follow God's instructions. But he always loved the Lord. It is so comforting to see that he was blessed and rewarded exponentially by a good and faithful God. It is a reminder to all of us that God will never expect us to be perfect, and that He will still bless us and never leave us.
A few weeks ago, the topic was the birth of Isaac. Now, this event has been touched upon in several other sermons, because it was a HUGE part of God's promise to Abraham and Sarah. When my marriage fell apart, one of the things I had to mourn was the very real possibility that I will never have children of my own. My doctors have been telling me since I was 19 that I'm so high risk and when I turn 30, that risk triples so its best to have them in my 20's. Well, I'm halfway to 28 and going through a divorce. That does not bode well for having babies. I completely understand the pain Sarah must have felt. Literally, a DECADE went by with no child. She became desperate, made some bad choices, and paid the price. But then God was FAITHFUL and blessed her with a baby, when she was in her 90's. Sarah lived to be 127 years old, by the way. The point is, she was well past the age when she could have children. Menopause had come and gone. But God can do anything. And so I believe it's the same for me. I no longer feel that I'm lacking in some way, that I'm "less of a woman" the way I've felt for the past 2 years when we had tried to get pregnant and didn't, then when I miscarried. Those situations were my Hagar. I'll get my Isaac eventually.
I've been extremely blessed by a handful of the friends in my life these past 3 weeks. Y'all have lifted me up and meant more to me than you realize. I have not collapsed, and I am, in fact, ready for what's next. Let's go to Canaan, okay?
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