the closest thing to a "free lunch"

It's way better than a free lunch. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a free meal as much as if not more than anyone, but this stuff, well, it's a feeding that lasts longer than the most delicious and satisfying meal ever could. It, in fact, blows that meal to crap. Okay, I have to switch tones now because this is sounding like a commercial and that is decidedly not my intent.

It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, He embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on His own, with no help from us! Then He picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah. Now God has us where He wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all His idea, and all His work. All we do is trust Him enough to let Him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join Him in the work He does, the good work He has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. Ephesians 2:1-10 (The Message)

I love that that right there, in simple terms, is the best part of yesterday. Obviously, the candy is nice, but the fact that we were sin-soaked and obsessed with the world and ourselves, and God MERCIFULLY sent His son to die for us. We don't ever have to be good enough or holy enough or pure enough to be saved. All we have to do is BELIEVE. Have faith! And not even a lot of faith. Nope. Faith the size of a MUSTARD SEED (Matthew 17:20) is all you need. Reading the Bible, going to Bible study or on missions, prayer, etc., is all HIS work that we do to spend time with Him, not work we do to obtain salvation or maintain our places in Heaven.

Our Easter sermon was about imputed righteousness. This is referring to how God made a unilateral covenant with Abraham that He would make him righteous simply because he had faith in God. That covenant was fulfilled for each and every one of us through Christ. It's referenced and quoted in several books of the New Testament, thus it is a big part of the New Covenant. (For those of you who need some background on that, basically the Old Testament and subsequently the Jewish faith is the Old Covenant. Christ coming to die for us was promised in that covenant and so the New Testament and Christianity is the New Covenant.) There were so many things that Jim said, examples of current life that he included, that just blew me away. I mean, a lot of my problems aren't exactly uncommon, and I know that, but I'd been praying extensively about several of them last week so it was good for me to hear them specifically referenced in regards to God's provisions. On the way to church and again after we sang (so right before the message was delivered) I prayed for God to speak to me and keep my heart open to hear His words to me. Well, friends, it OBVIOUSLY worked.

I appreciated the sermon being on imputed righteousness even more because of a scripture I've been praying over Denver for quite some time now. "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife," I Corinthians 7:14a Now, I believe that when Denver accepted Christ before we got married, he was sincere and subsequently the Spirit still resides within him, and he is saved because you can't give back salvation, but since he's currently walking around proclaiming himself to be an atheist, it comforts my heart to the deepest parts to be reminded that he is set apart because he is my husband, despite his current view of himself as an unbeliever. [Note: Yes, I know what that entire passage says. Before you cite the rest of the passage and it's message on divorce to me, keep in mind that when I married him, he was a believer. That is all. :-)] The bottom line on that is, it's yet another free gift the Lord gives us out of love and grace. Denver doesn't have to do anything. My faith keeps him sanctified. That's pretty amazing to me, y'all.

It's humbling and empowering all at once. I'm so in awe of God's hugeness.

What defines you?

Tonight at Alpha, the topic was "Why did Jesus Die?" I am not going to blog about that, but if you ask me, I'll tell you what I believe, and there will be mention of goats and lambs.

No, I'm going to blog about something else entirely. Kevin, my group leader (he is HILARIOUS and my role is to help him keep conversation flowing and pray for the group), posed some interesting questions. Living in the world and sinning is a lot like being in water and getting wet. They are unavoidable things because of the location. So do you live your life from a place of sin or forgiveness? And if you had to write 10 words that defined you, would you include "sinner"? How about "forgiven"?

I personally live my life from a place of forgiveness. I am 100% aware that I will never ever ever be good enough to deserve salvation. I can never EARN God's grace, love, and mercy. I am a perpetual sinner. I sin so many times every single day that I couldn't possibly count them all! But instead of viewing myself as the filthy sin-covered person that I probably should, I view myself as forgiven. I am forgiven for them all: the sins I don't realize I committed and thus don't repent for, the ones that I am fully aware of and habitually commit anyway, and the one time mistakes. I am covered in the precious blood of Jesus Christ, and thus I am FORGIVEN. You can't really wrap your head around the hugeness of that. I mean, I'm a pretty forgiving person, and even I can't really grasp the hugeness of that. But I don't have to. Because I live by faith.

As for the words that describe me... No. I would not list sinner. Because in my mind, I feel like its so obvious. I wouldn't list "human", "white", "American", or "female" either, because they're so obvious. They just go without saying to me. As far as forgiven, I think I'd chose a larger word that encompasses it. I am so completely a Christian. I am a believer. I am forgiven. I am in love with my Savior. I am a servant. I am so many things that go into being a follower of Christ. Forgiven is HUGE, but there's just more to it for me.

So what about you? How do you live? Do you live your life oblivious to sin? Do you live it accepting and "oh well!" of your sin? Or do you live knowing that you are loved by the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE just as much every single moment regardless of what you are doing on this earth?

seriously.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: God is so cool!

I have a Stephen Minister through my church who is AMAZING. She and I were talking last night about how things have been going for me, and if I had talked to D or not. Well, things have kind of slidden downward for me in a few areas (out of my control) and I haven't talked to D which is eating at me because I miss him so much. She told me that she would be praying and that she knows the Lord is working in my life. I told her that I know at this point its all about faith, trust, and patience.

Fast forward a few hours to me being awake all night because I made the bad decision to take a 4 hour nap after church. So I was playing games online and listening to ksbj. I love the overnight DJ on that station because he sounds entirely too much like Mr. Garrison from South Park when he talks, but also because he uses his breaks between songs to talk about scripture and pray. Well, last night he really caught my attention when he started talking about the scriptures (I think it's in John 14) that talk about asking for things in faith. He actually used the words faith and trust when talking about praying and seeking the Lord's guidance and provision. Um, yes.

Finish it up with today's devotional in Jesus Calling

Expect to encounter adversity in your life, remembering that you live in a deeply fallen world. Stop trying to find a way that circumvents difficulties. The main problem with an easy life is that it masks your need for Me. When you became a Christian, I infused My very Life into you, empowering you to live on a supernatural plane by depending on Me.

Anticipate coming face-to-face with impossibilities: situations totally beyond your ability to handle. This awareness of your inadequacy is not something you should try to evade. It is precisely where I want you - the best place to encounter Me in My Glory and Power. When you see armies of problems marching toward you, cry out to Me! Allow me to fight for you. Watch Me working on your behalf, as you rest in the shadow of My Almighty Presence.

Revelation 19:1; Psalm 91:1


There's a song by Casting Crowns called Who Am I that really gets it.

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours


I am so small and insignificant but the Lord of Creation knows every single hair on my head, and loves me so deeply. He actually does care about every single thing that I feel and pays attention. That is HUGE. My life is a mess right now in so many ways, but because I am covered with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, it's all part of the beautiful work of art that the Lord is creating in me. SERIOUSLY.

just like the moon

I am having such a God-filled day, and it feels unbelievably good.

I just spent a wonderful 2 hours with the care pastor from my church. I had spoken with her shortly after my arrival in Katy, because I had submitted a prayer request, but it was a quick phone call mostly of her offering help and me declining it. I wasn't going to be here that long, remember? I wonder how things would be different if I had let her in back then... hindsight. Anyway, the point is she is wonderful (Katy, you were right, as per usual), and I feel renewed for the next round of the this fight. She's provided me with some help, and she's reaching out to D with some things, too. God is good, all the time.

I did get little bit of a late start today, so I saved my devotional readings for when I got home. Excellent decision. I'd like to share it with you.

"In college I was required to take an astronomy course. We learned about comets, stars, and galaxies, but my favorite part of the course was the section about the moon. It was fascinating to discover the reason for the craters, the phases of the moon, and its influence on the earth. I love being able to look at the moon through a telescope and see its beauty magnified. I feel so close to God, and I marvel at the beauty and harmony of creation.

The phase of the moon that amazes me the most is the new moon. This occurs when the earth is between the sun and the moon, casting a shadow on the moon. Although we are unable to see the moon while it is in this phase, we know that it is still there.

This constant presence reminds me that God will always be with us. Whether life's struggles cast a shadow on His presence or the clear skies illuminate it, God's promise to be with us overwhelmingly abounds. Its comforting to know that in a culture where seeing means believing, God transcends all proof and allows trust and faith to flourish.

To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see. -Hebrews 11:1"

Pretty awesome, huh? I think that reading that after I had been filled at my meeting really helped me get more from it. Faith and Hope are my weapons in the fight, so God strengthens and replenishes them for me in the coolest ways.

Basically, I was wrong. He's not still hiding His face from me. It's just a shadow. It's just like the moon.