3rd trimester - bazinga!

Things are still not great with the situation with the big kids. We still haven't seen or spoken to them since the 1st week of January. When we got custody back, his ex-wife hid them from us. She went so far as to claim they had an appointment and pull them out of school to keep us from having lunch with them. God will prevail, but in the mean time, continued prayers are appreciated.

Now for the extreme joy in our lives... our new little miracle. Last week, I started having bio-physical fetal surveillance. This is conducted primarily through ultrasound. There's 8 things they're checking, including to estimate his weight (2lbs. 4oz.!!), check his heart rate (148 bpm), his movements, my fluid level, etc. He scored a perfect 8/8 last week. Unfortunately, my blood sugars have been a little wonky and my blood pressure was slightly elevated, so he scheduled me to come back this week for another round. My blood pressure was perfect today (which I told him it would be. Last week, the nurse was talking to me and arguing about my due date while she was taking it. Obviously that's going to make it rise.), I actually have gained weight (3 whole pounds... whoa.), and Baby Boy scored another perfect 8/8 on his BPFP. His weight is now up to 2 lbs 10 oz, his heart rate was 143, and he officially loves the ultrasounds as much as we do now. Up until 20 weeks, he was not the most cooperative baby. But now... oh what a change! The tech was doing his scan today and she got really excited because the images were so clear. She asked us if we were planning to have the 3D/4D scan done. We told her we weren't(mostly because I think they tend to look really creepy, and plus they're expensive.), and she goes, "Oh I just can't resist!" and flipped to the 4D view. OMG. He's beautiful. He was making squishy faces, but it's still very obvious that he looks like his daddy.





That's his elbow next to his cheek, by the way. He was lounging with his arm like that last week, too. I don't blame him... I lay like that, too. In 9 weeks, I will be able to kiss that squishy face. I'm PUMPED. In the mean time, I'm seeing the ob weekly. We changed everything on my insulin pump at my endocrinologist's office today. "You're in the 3rd trimester. Insulin use doubles or triples during this. We just have to be aggressive."

I feel like I've been pregnant forever. I wonder if it'll be weird when it's finally over, when I can lift things again, when my belly doesn't shake because the occupant is moving, when I'm not having a preggo party anymore. Is that part of why some women get post partum depression so severely? Is it like women who get really depressed after their wedding because they'd been so obsessed and engrossed with the planning and in defining themselves as "brides-to-be". I hope not. I'll find out in 2months. It's gonna flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy by, I just know it.

Seriously, 2011?

I'm pinning my hopes on the 2nd half of 2011 as being great for Team Green.

So, it took me about 2 and a half weeks to stop being sick. That SUCKED. In the mean time, we've had a tremendous amount of Baby Mama Drama that's landed us in court with more court in the future. The worst part is far and away that she has kept the kids from us since January 2nd, and we will not see them again until maybe dinner on February 10th. Its excruciating to not see them or even be able to talk to them. We feel very confident that God has a plan in all this, and our hopes are that 1. the kids will not be scarred by her actions (we already know she's hurting them, but the extent is what we worry about.) 2. that her actions will backfire on her and 3. hope of hopes, that we would be granted primary custody of them. We absolutely want them to have time with her, to always have a relationship with her, because it is obviously in their best interest to have that with both of their parents, contrary to her belief. We trust God that the truth will prevail, and her lies will be exposed. This is not a battle we would've chosen to get into 3 months before I'm supposed to give birth, but it's not about our time or our plans, now is it? Plus we both know that the best blessings and God's most perfect growth come from the times of suffering. So we're enduring, praying, and appreciative of the prayers and support of our loved ones.

In happy news, Eli is perfect. He kicks ALL. THE. TIME. We talk to him and he acknowledges us with kicks. He kicks so hard Sheldon can easily feel it by just laying his hand on my belly. Sometimes he kicks so hard that my body sways a bit. Its amazing to me how strong he is! My most favorite is the battle between Lucie and Eli. She's one of those cats who loves to snuggle and REALLY loves her mommy. I've known from Day 1 there would be competition between the baby and her for my attention. I didn't realize Eli would be getting in on the action from the womb... When Lucie is laying in my lap, especially up against him, he kicks her. Last night, he was kicking her so hard I know she could feel it. They aren't hard enough for her to be phased yet, though, so I just laughed and laughed. My little guy is spunky! I had my 24 week check up yesterday, and while we frankly discussed a lot of very scary potential realities, I couldn't be happier. From what I understand, he's around 2/3 of his birth length, so his big focus now is for his lungs to form and for him to gain weight. He's getting close to a pound and a half in there, and should gain about 1/4 a pound every week from here on out. His heart rate was a solid 164, he kicked me 3 times while we were in the exam room (a great sign!), and my blood pressure is "beautiful". In my first trimester, there was some concern about my blood pressure, and I kept trying to tell them that it was totally because I was rushing out the door at work to make it to my appointments and that things were stressful at work. Now that things have calmed down at work (and the end of my time there is closer and closer... praise Jesus!) and I have more of a cushion between leaving the store and arriving at their office, my blood pressure is great. It was so great yesterday that my nurse said, "Perfect! You're taking your meds, aren't you?" Nope! That's just how I roll! My hemoglobin A1c is a little higher than I'd like, but still substatially lower than where it was back in August. My endocrinologist agreed that the week long spike in November when I was on steroids for my migraine combined with being sick for almost 3 weeks in January caused it to rise. It's still only a few tenths of a point above ideal, so no one is worried. Our big milestone this week is that if something crazy happened and he was born now (which there's really pretty much no chance of), he would (with intense medical care) probably survive. His premature birth survival rate goes up exponentially every week from now on. Its something I just haven't let myself think about the entire time. I've chosen to focus on the positive, believing that he would make it to 36 weeks and be born perfect and with tons of hair (that last part is because every boy dream I've had, he had a ton of dark hair like mine. We'll see!!). My next check up will be at 27 weeks, and I have some milestone labs scheduled. It also signals the beginning of "bio-physical fetal surveillance." That means ultrasounds every visit, "measuring" his weight on ultrasounds (that got quotes because its such an estimate.), listening to his heart beat for longer times, and potentially non-stress tests for me. They want to monitor my fluid level and make sure there are no signs of fetal distress. I have such a peace about the whole thing. I'm just like, "Yay! I get to watch my son move and grow all the time!" and not "OMG what if something's wrong?!" We also went over again why and when I'll be induced. The answer is sometime between April 18th and May 2nd, or between 36 and 38 weeks. Diabetes puts a whole new set of risks on a pregnancy, and so far we've dodged all of them, but I'm on the eve of my 3rd trimester, and there's a lot that we have yet to face. The reason he will definitely be born no later than 38 weeks is because there are a large number of risks that arise after that point, the biggest one being intrauterine demise. There are some risks with being a preemie, but they're much lower than the risks of leaving him in after 38 weeks. I mean, babies are technically considered term at 36 weeks anyway, so I'm not concerned. Even when he said, "intrauterine demise", I was unphased. I was too excited about getting to hold my baby earlier and being able to see the end of my puking (yea, I did it 5 times this morning and subsequently did not go to work.). Plus, as far as Eli is concerned, this pregnancy has been awesome, so it seems silly to start getting worried now. Another bit of awesome news? There's still a good chance I'll be able to have a vaginal birth. I mean, I've been mentally prepared for c-sections since I was 19. But I've had abdominal surgery and it SUCKS. If Eli can be born without surgery, I'm all for it.

We're so excited about the hospital I'll be delivering at. Before we were even pregnant, Sheldon and I both really wanted to have him at the new Methodist West Houston. They aren't even delivering there until valentine's day, so the timing is great for us. We went to take a peek last week and were so happy with the decision. We couldn't take a full tour of the L&D floor yet (which is fine) because it's still under construction, but we met with the director, and its great. We're going to have to take our classes at a different hospital, but that's not a big deal. Its just exciting!

So, yea. Our lives are pretty solidly kid-centered. And we love it.

I'm not joining the 2011 fan club yet...

I made a huge, huge, huge mistake. I made a comment on a friend's blog that my #1 resolution for 2011 was to puke less. God did not think that was funny. At 11:45, right before 2011 started, the puking came like a tidal wave. I was too sick to fully count, but I'm estimating that I ended up puking around 30 times by 3am, when we were already in the emergency room. I am beyond grateful that God knew this near-death feeling was coming and Hubs was able to be home. He was out on a job but there was an engine problem on the barge so he got to come home. He arrive about 20 minutes after the mess was flying. It was generally an awful way to start the new year. I regret letting Cherie stay up to have midnight with me... instead of that special moment, she watched me get incredibly sick which terrified her. Owen thankfully slept through it. At the ER, I had 3 bags of IV and 2 hefty doses of nausea medication. We got home around 8:30 Saturday morning. The kids very sweetly let us sleep until 1:30.

We're not exactly sure what brought on that bought of stunning gastrointestinal pyrotechnics, but it paved the way for what is known as The Crud. I missed Monday and Tuesday at work, have had a Z Pack, and will start Tamiflu tomorrow. I hope to be able to stop coughing and "breathing" glue soon.

Thankfully, Eli has apparently been oblivious to it all. Cherie was really worried about him during all my toilet hugging, but I told her that he likes all the bouncing. His heart rate has been consistently in the upper 150's (when they checked it in the ER and then again today at my doctor's office.) He's about a foot long now, and quite the wiggler. I love the little thumps of him moving around! I was propped up on a bunch of pillows in bed the other day and Lucie came and laid across my belly. Eli was trying to kick her, which cracked me up (and then made me cough for 5 minutes). My doctor was beyond pleased by his last ultrasound images, going on and on about how great he looks. He's growing at the right pace, anatomy is proportional and looks as it should, etc. He's a healthy baby! When they weighed me today, I'd lost 3 pounds since my 18 week check up (I'm 21w4d now, was 18w2d then), which puts me back at 4 pounds under prepregnancy weight. My doctor isn't worried, because I was overweight to begin with. They want me to gain a max of 15 pounds during the entire pregnancy. Plus I'm sick and have thrown up a substantial amount lately. It stands to reason. And since Eli's growing on pace and is totally healthy, there's nothing to be worried about. Yay! (other preggos who gained a lot of weight, I am not bragging. I promise.)

I don't like to have my belly touched. Ever. Which is going to probably become an issue by my 3rd trimester. Basically, I've always been self conscious about the fleshiness of my belly, and then when I started doing insulin injections there which caused lots of bruising, and now I have my pump site there... its just not an area I'm comfortable being touched. There are now 2 exceptions, and they surprised me! I like it when Sheldon rubs my belly. Today at my check up, my doctor said, "Let's touch your belly." and started poking at it, measuring my uterus, etc. When he said, "the top of your uterus is right here *poke poke, grabs my hand to poke* which is exactly where it should be right now," I LIKED IT. So maybe it won't be as big of an issue in my 3rd trimester...

Speaking of my belly... I only really look pregnant in 1 sweater. Otherwise, I just look like the donuts call to me. I expected to feel a bit rounder by now. Subsequently, I'm not thinking I'm going to end up super huge. That's okay, but at the same time, it's a little disappointing because that's part of the fun of being pregnant.


I'm so in love with this kid... 15 or so weeks to go!!

Christmas and all that

Sheldon and I are pretty sure we want to have another baby after this one (in a few years, obviously) and I fully intend to take everything I learned from this pregnancy and make my next pregnant holiday season A LOT better.

This was the game plan: Christmas Eve night with my in laws, Christmas morning in newlywed alonetime bliss, Christmas afternoon/evening with my family, big Christmas with the kids on the 28th. The general timeline went, for the most part, as planned. But it was not smooth and it was frequently not merry. Lesson learned.

Christmas Eve, we caught a break (the only one of the season) and Sheldon was sent out on a job that let him out early. He got home around 4:30, so we were actually on time (a tremendous feat for us... seriously.) and TOGETHER to his aunt and uncle's house for dinner and festivities. The thing about being 5 months pregnant is that by 8 or 9pm, if I've been up since 6am and doing stuff the entire day, my body starts to crap out. I get sore and it takes me a good minute to stand from comfy chairs. Other than the achy body, it was nice. Delicious tamales, family sing-a-long, and an amazing new camera from the parents.

(this is Sheldon's youngest brother rocking the NERF dart tag we got him. It was way cooler than we ever anticipated.)


The thing about Christmas day is that this year was the only year Sheldon and I would have together without kids. No Santa pressure, no early morning, etc. Just the 2 of us, being together and enjoying each other. Not that I don't love being a mom, its just couple time is so important and this Christmas was a lot of firsts for me. We'd been getting fired up for it for like a month. I'd gone and purchased the ingredients to make a big awesome breakfast for us. No alarm clocks. BLISS. Well, then the phone rang at 5am and Sheldon got called out for a job. The guy who was 1st up and supposed to go ignored his phone (and then lied to Sheldon about it later.) That amazing Christmas morning shattered. Cue the preggo hormones and an hour and a half of crying. My brother picked me up at 1:30 to go have dinner at our aunt's house. There were a lot of not nice comments made (which I obviously added to my "I'm already in a bad mood and having a bad day" bank). Sheldon finally made it home around 8, we got to talk to the kids, and passed out, just happy to finally be together. Not my best Christmas day. (we had our big breakfast the next morning.)

(watching my beautiful nephew Isaac go off on a candy cane was a classic Christmas moment.)



Fast forward to Monday. My lunch did not sit well. It resulted in a violent rejection from my stomach. And pretty much everything else that I tried to eat. Until Tuesday morning, while I was still unable to keep things in my stomach. I called in sick, drank a crapton of water, and embraced my anti-nausea meds. I felt shaky but still made it to pick up the kids at noon. We had lunch at Zaxby's (and they were awesomely still playing Christmas music!), then headed home for the gift bonanza. They started with their gifts from us. Then they moved on to Santa. Basically, they got spoiled out of their little minds. My parents and my brother and his family came over for dinner and there was more gift giving. Even Eli got some presents! It was a big awesome day and fully lived up to the hype of Christmas.

Spoiled. Rotten.


Next year, Sheldon will be turning in his vacation request for Christmas Eve and day in October. He will be there for all 48 hours of Eli's 1st Christmas. The 5 of us will be spending the weekend together, as a family. It might be the best Christmas of my entire life. 2011 is set up to be full of awesome things for the Green family, and to end it like that will be the stuff that dreams are made of.

Pink or Blue?!

Its not just that I'm a bad blogger lately. We moved on December 1st and still don't have internet at home. Our modem came yesterday, so any day now, really. In the mean time...

We are really excited that Baby Green has a name, and it is no longer Promise (which was our nickname - We believed from the time we got engaged that God would bless us with a child together, that He promised that to us.). Well, we're 90% sure about this name anyway...

Because I don't like taking off from my part time job for appointments, and because my doctor only sees patients at the Katy office until noon on Wednesdays (they have 2 other offices in the Houston area he divides his time with), I am very good at getting the 11:30 slot, which is his last one. That means he, knowing I love them and that he's in no hurry, pretty much always does an ultrasound. At 16 weeks, I got reaaaaally excited about getting that peek. It was right around my birthday, and I have not enjoyed the anticipation of not knowing the gender of my little bonus passenger. So my doctor obliged and we took a peek. This child was having none of it. Literally. Squeezed the legs together, rolled over, and gave us a thumbs up. I told my sister that obviously the baby is already in love with Aunt Katy and her aggie ways. She agrees. My doctor told us 18 weeks would be easier to check, and we'd do a more thorough ultrasound. I got PUMPED. We arrived for our 18 week check up like it was Christmas morning. Seriously. I was hardly able to sit still all morning. When the nurse came in with the doppler, she told us he hadn't order the big gender scan. I was NOT happy. We had our visit with the doctor, and he said, "Well, its still so early. We'll have the big gender scan in 2 more weeks. *notices my frown* But let's go take a look." So we head across the hall to the ultrasound room. We looked at a precious head and face. (btw - I was negative across the board on my triple screen. No risk for Downs Syndrome, Spina Bifida, and whatever the 3rd one is. Not that it would make us love our child less, but we did high 5 when he told us.) We looked at a sweet little belly and all I could think was how much I can't wait to tickle and kiss that belly. Then we moved to the legs. "The legs are always the hardest part." This child is still not a cooperator. There was this precious little foot that did not want to move! My doctor shook the wand on my belly (which doesn't feel that great, fyi. Especially since my placenta is apparently towards the front and made the doppler difficult. I was already sore from all that poking.) Foot still wouldn't move. So I rolled on my side and we went at it from a different angle. More wand jiggles (and grimaces from Mommy.) Nope. That foot was THERE. So that's why we only have a 90% sure on the gender. We go back on the 29th for that big gender scan (and have to go to the main office at the hospital) and we'll get a for sure confirmation on gender. I'm actually ridiculously excited about that ultrasound because Cherie and Owen will be with us for Christmas visitation then, and they'll be joining us at the appointment. I can't wait for them to see the baby, to watch those tiny arms move around and see that there is a real person in my belly. I feel like it's going to make it all so much more real for them, and it will also give them more of a sense of ownership of their new sibling. Baby will become something real that they've seen instead of just something we talk about and they pray for.

With that being said, our little miracle's name is Elijah Ross Green, or Eli. When my doctor said, (after "I'm 90% sure" of course,) "it's a boy!", Hubs was overcome. He's been saying boy the entire time, and his intuition was apparently correct. He's so happy there were some tears, which I find beyond adorable.

I'm not cray cray or anything, but there's something about being pregnant with a boy at Christmas. We spend a tremendous portion of the season remembering what it really is all about, why we have a holiday in the first place, and that is a baby boy who was born into NOTHING and gave us EVERYTHING. When I hear the story, or even just phrases like, "Mary's baby boy", I feel this surge of emotion. And I know my son is not Jesus. He is not the 2nd coming of the Savior of the World. He will just be my baby, and while God has big plans for his life, it's not the same. But I can't not touch my belly and feel slightly more in love with my child when I think of that baby boy born 2000 years ago.

I have other stuff I want to write about, but Isaac just woke up from his nap and I'm on Aunt Suzy duty. What a hard duty it is... hehehe

oh, hi

So, I'm 4 months pregnant, and that's fun. Actually being pregnant isn't the most fun thing I've ever done, but it's so worth it. My throwing up hasn't gone away, but its gotten soooooooooooo much better since we leveled up into the 2nd trimester. I now only throw up once or twice every day or 2, and I'm not nauseous 24/7 anymore. In its place, unfortunately, we have The Headache. It started peaking in at the tail end of my 1st trimester, but then came in with a bang during my 13th week. Like, exploded into a migraine so huge I spent Wednesday-Friday in the hospital, in the dark, with an IV and an assortment of pain meds. The neurologist had them do a CT scan because he could see the fluid/pressure build up behind my eyes. Thankfully, they didn't see anything, but I spent a week on steroids to be safe. Its been 3 weeks and I'm still getting lots of headaches (and 2 or 3 migraines.) Since I've been getting migraines since I was 18 and my neurologist in Dallas informed me that its due to hormone sensitivity, my doctor gently broke the bad news that this was going to be my reality for the duration of my pregnancy. At least he gave me 2 levels of pain meds to try and control it. I have my 16 week check up in the morning, and we're hoping my doctor is true to his word and does an ultrasound so I can know if its my son or my daughter making me feel so yucky!

Other exciting changes... after 8 months of marriage, I finally got around to changing my name on my driver's license. I took Cherie with me and she enjoyed the experience way more than anyone I know. Her good time made me enjoy it a lot, too. When we got there, I discovered that I have Homeland Security flags attached to my social security number. When I got married the first time, I went to the social security office to change my name, found out I didn't have all the required documents, and then never got around to going back. Sooo as far as they are concerned, my last name is still Hall. Whoopsie! It's on my to-do list next week. I'd do it this week, but I'm really wrapped up in the other exciting change we've got going on... we finally got our own place! My mom really doesn't need help anymore, so we've been working on finding a place of our own for months. There was A LOT of drama that went along with it, but finally, God blessed us with a fantastic place, and we're slowly but surely getting all of our stuff transferred over from my parents' house. (For the record, it sucks to move while you're pregnant. I feel really really useless.) We got our keys on my birthday (oh yea, I turned 29 in there) and it was the best birthday gift Hubs could have possibly given me.

Owen's still acting up a lot, and its heartbreaking. Today he got an N because he refused to follow instructions and threw rocks at other kids on the playground. he's about to get a lot more structure and routine during his time with us, thanks to the new place. I'm hoping that a combo of that and more time with Daddy will encourage a change. It frequently feels like spitting into the wind because every time we make progress, it gets destroyed when he goes back to her house. God has a plan with this, and someday, He'll share that. In the mean time... whew!

So yea, my belly's growing, we're settling into our first married home together, and in general, we feel exceptionally blessed.

the blog post I have always wanted to write

I've been pretty busy lately, and it's a task I'll be pretty busy with for a while longer. I'm helping to create something. Its a "project" we've been working on for almost 3 months now. Let me show you some pictures of this amazing work in progress...




















That's right. We're expecting a little miracle in May. We had nooooo idea we'd get pregnant again so fast after losing the baby in July. I'm sad to say that I didn't feel the same overwhelming excitement this time around that we felt last time, but I know its because I was so scared to feel the disappointment I felt. But since the worry has left, I'm there now.

We've already been through some trials with this pregnancy, including my 3 day hospital stay at 6 weeks (Nothing serious: just getting some meds tweaked in a controlled environment.). My doctor is very aggressive and has been amazing in helping us do everything we can to give this baby the best possible chance. We were so blessed to have weekly ultrasounds for most of the first trimester - 5 total. It was incredibly bittersweet when my doctor told me we didn't need them anymore. Horns up: your baby is doing fantastic! Horns down: you don't get to see Baby grow and change every week. Watching how much things change in a week is nothing short of mind blowing! And you better believe that I cried the first time I watched that precious little heart beat!! My doctor isn't at all worried about another miscarriage and has shifted his focus to all the risks I'm facing down the road. There's no guarantee that I will have any of those complications, but we went into this knowing I was high risk, so better safe than sorry. The only guarantee he's given us is that I will delivery before 40 weeks, so that's cool. We'd love to have the baby on Earth Day... hahaha get it? the Green Baby born on Earth Day!

To answer some of the most common questions...

1. "How are you feeling?" Pretty terrible, actually. I've been throwing up since before I had a positive pregnancy test. (which means we went and bought a bunch of tests at the dollar store and my morning ritual became to test. I made the decision that I would keep testing until I either got a positive or stopped throwing up). This method does make the positive a little anticlimactic, fyi. But its better than just throwing up for no reason. Anyway, I've had like 5 positives (I wanted to be really sure at home, and then they also test at the OB's office), and I haven't stopped throwing up. I'm hoping that we're almost done with this part, but I have some friends who were sick until their third trimester or their entire pregnancy. I also have terrible heartburn and lots of the physical aches and pains. I've actually been losing weight (which my doctor is fine with this early, plus they don't want me to gain much anyway) As crappy as I feel, its totally worth it. I'm in love with this little sea monkey.

2. "Boy or girl?" Obviously, we don't know yet. We'll find out in December. And oh yes, we are totally finding out. Its driving me nuts not knowing! I have no idea how people can stand not knowing! As for what I hope it is, I honestly don't care. I always thought I wanted a girl, but now that it's a reality, I don't care. I mean, I would really enjoy having my own little doll to put in tutus and precious little girl outfits, but boys are fun, too. Sheldon is convinced we're having a boy, but he assures me he'll be happy either way.

3. "How do the kids feel about it?" They're SUPER excited. Cherie loves being a big sister so much as it is, and having another sibling is heaven to her. Owen's excited, too, but he's 5 so it's a different excitement. I think he might still be a little confused about what happened to the last baby, because he's not as excited as last time. Last time, he would talk to my belly and always pray for the baby. And then again, maybe he's just not as excited because of his other underlying issues right now. But he is excited.

So yea, there it is. I'm thrilled and just know the next 20 something weeks will absolutely DRAG. I already feel like I've been pregnant forever and we're not quite 1/3 of the way through the process!