Short month, Short entry

Sooo..... hi. How are you? Nice.


My mom's been in the hospital since January 18th. She had surgery (again) on her knee to remove the original knee replacement and put in an antibiotic infused cement spacer. She's at a rehabilitation facility called Cane Island right now, and her doctor is worthless. Minimal progress on that front, but hey, the kids are getting good at steering a wheelchair.


I've been working a ton at the store, which isn't bad because I get to work at 8am Monday thru Friday most weeks and am almost always home by 3, unless I have a random late day of covering for someone who called out. I'm happy there. It's all good.


We have actually begun to make wedding plans. Real, actual wedding plans, as opposed to just, "Hmmmm... Maybe _____ would be fun!" The nice thing about having an extremely small scale wedding is that there isn't nearly as much to plan. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.


We've had 2 classes (out of 9) for our Marriage Matters class and we loooooooooooove it. It's so simple and yet it's something that no one really thinks about. We get so into our emotions and what we want and expect that we totally forget that we're dealing with another person and not some perfect creation in a movie. So far so great!


Now for pictures of my heart:









and the funniest video EVER:

It's official!!

The judge approved our divorce papers on Wednesday, and our final hearing was Friday morning at 8:30. Poor Sheldon. Denver called the house to get some information for the paperwork at the hearing and since I was at work, Sheldon had to talk to him and get the info. Not that D was rude or anything, but that's so uncomfortable and awkward, to say the least. But Sheldon's a trooper and was polite about it, despite the fact that he said he was fighting the urge to tell D off. I'm glad he refrained. Deep down, he knows what he did to me, what he put me through, that he is a liar and all the other things that make him an awful person. He changed so much, and I'm afraid that everything in him that was good and wonderful is gone, all the things that made me love him have been discarded. What a loss.

I am incredibly blessed to be with Sheldon. He is crazy and ridiculous and grumpy and stinky and generally fantastic. It is the best feeling to know that I fully belong to him now, that there's not still D lingering with the courts to prevent me from being 100% his. Now that I'm divorced, I actually feel that giddy, engaged feeling. I'm ready to be committed to him in every sense of the word. I'm ready to make the commitment to him legally and, more importantly, with God. He and I really will spend the rest of our lives together. He will stand by me in the good times and the bad. He is ready to face good years and not so good years with me. We do not go to bed angry. Every day we work to make us work, and we make sure that we include God. Its how marriage was supposed to be. I'm so lucky!

Here's to going Green!!

Happy New Year!

I'm not making any specific resolutions this year because, well, I failed last year. Instead, I'm just resolving to be BETTER. I'm already leaps and bounds ahead of who I was a year ago, and I trust that I will be even further ahead in a year.

I was so sad when I started 2009 and I was so happy when it ended. Not happy because it was ending, but happy because of all the new, better, amazing things in my life. I started the year feeling pretty isolated, with none of my best friends in the same city, and most not even in the same country, as me. I was still praying for my marriage to be healed. I was kind of desperate. I was desperate for change. And 2009 sure did bring the change!

Towards the end of the year, I was more disappointed that my divorce wasn't finalized on time than I ever in a million years would have guessed I'd be! The times with him and the times missing him feel like distant memories these days. In their place, I am building new, wonderful memories with the family God has blessed me with. I don't feel like I'm intruding or forcing myself into this new family. Instead, it feels like these 3 people were placed into my life by God, hand picked to fill my heart in places I didn't realize were empty! I mean, sure I had thought my heart wasn't intact anymore, but I have been proved so very wrong. God knew they were waiting for me, and He was shaping me for them, for me to fill a void they had in their family. In 2010, we (all 4 of us!) are eager to make our family of 4 a family of 5. What gender the 5th member should be depends on who you ask, but no matter what, he or she is waited for and already loved. He/she is already being prayed for by his/her parents and big sister. We call him/her "Promise" because we believe that God has promised us a 5th member of our family.

I went through a lot with my parents, mostly my mom, this year. My mom had 7 or 8 (I stopped counting) surgeries this year, most of them on her left knee. She is not a good patient. It wore on me so much to be taking care of her seemingly non-stop. Sheldon and I had only been dating for a few weeks when she was rushed in for emergency surgery. For the first time in the whole ordeal, I had someone to take care of me. I had someone to let me just unload all the feelings I had. I had someone who would help me take care of her (although he missed the really fun weeks when I was setting up her iv for her at least once, sometimes twice a day), someone who would spend time at the hospital so I could have time to do things that I needed to do. It showed me so much about who he is, deep inside. It taught me about his character, and I knew even more certainly that I had found someone so incredibly special. We were at the hospital spending time with my mom the first time I told him I loved him, in fact! Having a partner, a true partner, to walk beside me and hold me up through all of this stuff has been HUGE. God knew how much I needed it, and in His (always) perfect timing, He gave Sheldon to me.

I finally started working again this year. I don't make a million dollars, and I only work 30 hours a week, but I like where I am, I've already advanced in the company, and for now, it's perfect for me. It helps me to spend more time with my family (the ones I had before and my new one) and doesn't feel beneath me, which I was afraid would happen when I was having so much trouble finding a job. Just like with Sheldon, God put this job here for me at the exact right time.

I am so grateful for the blessings I have. If it wasn't for Jesus, I know that I would not have made it through the months upon months of heartache and agony I went through. I would not have made it through the months of nursing and being pretty much a servant for my mom. He sustained me, and His promises kept me. He is so faithful, and He loves me so! He has changed so much of what was bringing me down, and I'm glad that I went through the awful parts because it taught me to trust in Him and seek Him first all the time. It changed a lot of who I am, and how I see things. I'm grateful for that.

So for 2010...

Sheldon and I start the Marriage Matters course at our church on January 25th. Its a 9 week course that we know will set us up for success with our marriage. We've both seen the ugliest parts of marriage, and we know that no matter what, this time around will be different and better. We strive to put the Lord first in our lives and our relationship, and this class will give us tools to really do that. It also will help us with communication and other things, all from a scripture perspective. We're STOKED! With God, we cannot fail. The class will be finished in March, and we'll be getting married probably in June.

The year is just full of so much hope and promise. I'm blown away by all that God has already done, and I can't wait to see what He has in store for the next year!

I can't remember, a more awesome December

I'm a little behind on some of this, but whatever. At least I'm pretty current for Christmas and, well, MY ENGAGEMENT!!

It snowed this month in Katy, something very rare. I was working the entire time, feeling like I was inside a snow globe because of the way the flakes were falling and my view through the front windows. I managed to sneak out on my lunch break to snap a few pics of my car.



Later that evening, we picked up the kids for the weekend. We found this amazing snowman in the neighborhood so we had the kids pose with it.


Since before I was born, we've had a waving Santa in front of our house. Cherie and Owen LOVE IT. The first time they saw it, they went running and now they always tell him hi when we get home. Here's their 1st meeting:


And here's their adorable Christmas outfits. Owen has a reindeer sweater to match my nephew Isaac, and Cherie has a red and black velvet and glittery dress that matches my niece Natalie. Love it.



Christmas Eve was straight out of a movie. Here's what the kids were doing after I let them watch the Santa tracker on norad.org:


And here's what Sheldon was doing after I, I mean Santa, wrapped all their other gifts:


55 screws in that kitchen. His hands were killing him, and it took 4 hours to assemble, but it was totally worth it to see their reaction Christmas morning. They had no idea Santa would bring them something like that and they LOVE IT. It came with dishes and they got a bucket of food. Plus the burners light up and make sounds. They've been playing with it all day today.

Finally, my ENGAGEMENT. On Thursday, Sheldon talked to my dad, got a sitter, and took me out for a nice dinner. Before dessert, he got down on 1 knee, pulled out a ring, and asked me to be his wife. Obviously, I said yes. And not just because the ring is AMAZING. He's also pretty amazing, so it was a no-brainer.

Blessed n stuff

I wish my life was fully without drama. Its not something that should be blogged about, but its something that is very unlikely to ever not be a part of my life. Blending a family is tough at best. Even fairy tales have drama, remember? Sleeping Beauty grew up away from her parents and Cinderella slept in a fireplace after all! I am, however, so incredibly fortunate that God places these amazing moments in the middle of it that just make all the anger, hurt, and frustration that are at times excruciating and overwhelming totally worthwhile and small in comparison. Oh how He loves us!!!

For Halloween, we went to Dallas. My dear friend Chris married his beautiful bride Karen so the kids got some fantastic Bunny and Fox time. Bunny let Owen eat way too much candy, but holidays are meant for a bit of spoiling, right? I'll eventually post pictures of the kids in the pumpkin patch in their UT shirts (Thanks, B!!) and their costumes (Cherie was the greatest Hannah Montana ever, and Owen was too precious as Optimus Prime) but just know that it was so much fun.

*UPDATE!!* here's the pictures from the pumpkin patch and in their costumes:





November 7th, my hunny turned 30. We were so fortunate to have the kids with us that weekend. They were great sous chefs helping my mom and I cook a big birthday breakfast, and in the midst of it, Cherie and I got matching pedicures of hot pink and sparkly purple alternating toes - hers with white polka dots and mine with french tips. During the day, my brother and his beautiful babies came over and there was mass adorable playing in the house. That evening, we took a little road trip to New Braunfels for some Wurstfest. Cherie was introduced to the Tilt-o-whirl and Owen had his little heart broken because he isn't tall enough. Next year, sweet boy, next year. We rode the Ferris wheel as a family, and I discovered that Sheldon is TERRIFIED of heights so we all laughed at him a little. The time we spent laughing and just being together was perfect. The kids were so well behaved, they can't wait to make it a yearly thing, and I am optimistic that some day, I will get Sheldon to suck it up and eat more of the traditional German food because I love it so much. His Grandma Loebel wants me to win, too!! I want to get Cherie a little maedchen outfit next year. She loved all the costumes people were sporting! Owen just needs one of the super cool chicken hats.



God blessed me in such a powerful way on Sunday morning. During large group at KIDS Place, they had a prayer alter for the kids. When I watched Cherie timidly make her way up there then just throw herself into a passionate prayer, I almost burst into tears. That girl is very smart, very sensitive, and very perceptive. When I look at her, I can see how HUGE the plans God has for her are. He has so much ministry planned for her, and so many souls will be won for Him and His glory through her. I am blessed and HONORED to get to watch that, to be someone that she asks questions about Jesus, and to have God trust me to play a role in her spiritual upbringing. HUGE. My heart and soul cried out huge thanks to Him for that moment. I will tolerate all of that afore mentioned excruciating and overwhelming hurt, anger, and frustration for one more second of witnessing that pure faith of a child.

I am striving to be completely content in the imperfection of my life. I have an amazing man at my side who loves me after he loves the Lord, just as he should. He strives to be the type of man that the Bible commands him to be, as my mate, as a father, and as a man in general. Its refreshing! I'm not sure if that's the best word, but it fits. I get to have these 2 amazing kids in my life to love and build relationships with. I have a job that I enjoy going to (oh, and I got a promotion and a raise). We're looking to have our own home by early December. I have fantastic friends and family. My life will never be drama-free or perfect, but I am blessed with the perfection that comes in the midst of the imperfection. Because oh how He loves us!!

Anguish or awesome?

Today I had my first major outing since my 5 hours in the ER in the middle of the night Thursday night/Friday morning. My temperature spiked to 100.2 briefly yesterday afternoon, but has otherwise stayed under 100 for over 24, plus I'd been on antibiotics for over 48 hours (which is the recommendation to end being potentially contagious) so I headed to church. I made it to the zone coach meeting (we only have 2 a year... I can handle that) at 7:30 and taught my class at 8:45. Unfortunately, my lungs started to ache and I started to get woozy during the praise portion of service, so I spent the sermon snuggled up against Sheldon.

We had a guest speaker named Daniel Henderson because today was our church's prayer conference. The part of the message he was preaching that I actually got was to start your prayers in scripture. This is imperative because prayer is meant to be a CONVERSATION with God, and what better place to start a conversation with God than in His word? It's so simple and seemingly obvious, yet we as Christians forget that part all the time. When we pray passionately, and pray scripture based prayers, then God will answer them and delight in them.

There's also a part that emotionally filled me, and I didn't even see it coming. I know Mr. Henderson had no intention of doing this for me, either. But that's part of how awesome God is. He loves to just sneak little things in there for His beloved children. It came out of one small sentence said in passing to kind of stir up images to people to be more compassionate towards each other, to feel their anguish. It had to the total opposite effect on me. He said, "Agony over broken marriages, broken homes, broken families." Until today, every time I've heard mention of "broken marriages", I've felt a little sting. After all, no one actually wants to be a divorcee, no matter how bad the marriage was. Today, instead of that oh-so-familiar sting, I felt something completely different. I was AWED BY MY GOD. My God took 2 people who come from broken marriages, from broken families, and put them together to make a new family. He patiently and painfully watched all the hurt, anger, and pain we went through with our divorces and when we were ready, He put us together. He placed us next to each other and gave us hearts that passionately love each other and more importantly, HIM. He shaped us through those adversities to create us into people who are determined and devoted to making Him the center of our relationship and the foundation of the new family He's building with us. That is AMAZING. There are a lot of people in the church who look down on us for being divorced, regardless of the reasons for the splits or the fact that neither of us are the ones who initiated them. There are people who see us as used and unable to get God's full blessing from marriage because we've been married before. I was scared for a while that I would always be "used" and now I see so clearly how untrue that is. I see how the woman that was in that marriage is no more, just as the man who was in Sheldon's marriage is no more. We're new creations, and we were designed from the beginning of time to walk the paths we have walked to bring us to the present, where we are 2 people preparing to spend a lifetime together, loving each other and loving our Lord.

Getting divorced SUCKED. But then again, it also gave me the greatest gifts I've ever received. So at the end of the day, I guess you could say I'm grateful. :-)

Everybody knows that OU STEALS SOCKS!

I love the rivalry. I really do. I love Sooner jokes. I truly believe that OU sucks.

That being said, I found this video from iamsecond.com on a friend's facebook page and it's a great reminder that there's something MUCH larger than this rivalry.

Watch the video and remember that win or lose, we're all second to God.